Take Off Your Dockers

Apr 5

this is why the internet was invented.

Mar 7

I’m a bad, bad man…

Dear Friends,

It’s my pleasure to invite you to the Manhattan Chamber Opera performance of Bellini’s beautiful opera I Capuleti e i Montecchi. I will sing the role of Tebaldo (“Tybalt” in this extremely liberal adaptation of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet). Email me at mrcaleb@gmail.com if you want tickets ($20). YOUR full ticket price goes directly to me, and will help me offset some of the cost of the rehearsal and performance space - you don’t want to know :-).

It’s bel canto, baby. Bel freakin’ canto. And I will sing an high “D”. OMFG. That is so crazy.

It’s also opera. Insane ridiculous opera. Cross dressing, tights* wearing, glass shattering opera. But relax dude. It’s also me. Just me and Eric and Allegra and Linda and Valerie and David. Singing about star crossed lovers and such.  No big deal.

Please join us as we take some risks, make some mistakes, and sing our asses off for you. You might even hear something great. Then come out to whatever watering hole and give me your review offline!

Who: Manhattan Chamber Opera (feat. Take Off Your Dockers!)
What: I Capuleti e i Montecchi by Vincenzo Bellini
When: March 28, 2009 8pm
Where: Riverside Church, 91 Claremont Ave at 120th and 122nd, New York, NY. One of the tower rooms. You really want to come? I’ll find out which one.
How: By hook or by crook.
Why: Because participating in truly acoustic, unamplified music is one of the most radical choices a concert goer can make in 2009. It’s all about being present and listening.
Whoa: Deep.

Sweaty opera hugs and sloppy opera kisses,


*Tights may be metaphorical. I make no promises. Still…

Feb 5

i hate my blog, but it’s so much better with unicorns and rainbows


Dec 4

"we love santa. we have to say it. i have to say it. we love santa. everybody loves santa but remember: december 25 baby jesus birthday. we must keep that in mind. december 25 baby jesus birthday. just thought i’d get that in there. we love santa but let’s not be silly."

don cherry is sarah palin’s creepy uncle. it gets worse/better from there. this is a highly rated show in canada. holy hell.

Nov 12

sarah se puede!

"it would be my honor to assist and support our new president and the new administration…. i speak for other republicans and republican governors, also…. they would be willing also to seize this opportunity that we have to progress this nation together, in a united front

- sarah palin

Nov 6

5 country ku’s

1. Alone at the bar
The jukebox heals my heart with
Hawaiian guitars.

2. Beyond prison walls
Momma cries, beer flows like wine
And train whistles blow.

3. I’ve loved, lost, and fished
(less than some but more than most)
in my flatbed truck.

4. Pondering worn frets
He seeks her lost shadow in
Rhinestone reflections.

5. I see the bottom
Of my heart and my bottle
Now that you are gone.

if you liked my feeble attempts, you’ll love shafer hall. so. much. more.

Oct 30

pay the lady

rosie album

it can’t be more than a buck on itunes.

puppet masters and mistresses

speaking of poets - bobby braddock and harlan howard wrote this:

you say that you’re born again / cleansed of your former sins / you want me to say I forgive and forget / but you meant too much to me / don’t you be touchin’ me / why don’t you go touch all those women you’ve met

god may forgive you but i won’t / yes jesus loves you but i don’t / they don’t have to live with you - neither do i / you say that you’re born again - well so am i / god may forgive you but i won’t - i won’t even try

the kids used to cry for you / i had to try to do / the things that a dad should do / since you’ve been gone / you really let us down / you may be heaven bound / but you left one hell of a mess here at home

god may forgive you but i won’t/yes jesus loves you but i don’t / they don’t have to live with you - neither do i / you say that you’re born again - well so am i / god may forgive you but i won’t - i won’t even try

rosie flores recorded this song in 1987. what’s funny is that it doesn’t sound natural for her. the hurt in her voice is deeper and more loving than the words on the page. braddock and howard made the woman in the song unforgiving. rosie sang the meanness begrudgingly, like it she was making a hostage tape. the result remains one of the best songs i’ve ever heard by anyone.

Oct 27

one for my homey

i’ll carefully lift a glass tonight for dylan thomas, born today, 1914. he wrote this.

kinda makes me wish my birthday was in october. and that i was a genius poet.

Oct 16


as david letterman can tell you, lists get old really fast. cracked, though, seems to be able to do lists better than most. The 6 Cutest Animals That Can Still Destroy You will long be near the top of my list of lists - which you will never ever see.

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